how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Who died my cat blue again?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
