I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
