I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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