Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
