and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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