Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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