he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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