its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
