Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
