no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
