he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
This toilet bowl is my home.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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