What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
