Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
