I skipped work to stalk him.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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