i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
