hotel room ftw
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
