Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
