i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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