omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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