Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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