What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
