No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
