i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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