that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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