Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
