so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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