I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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