dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
