It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
