i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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