i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
