Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
this will be a night to untag.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
