I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
