I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
