plz talk dirty to me
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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