I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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