So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
