Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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