hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
