Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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