It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
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