so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
