...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It's not a walk of shame if you run
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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