Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
