I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
