I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
