Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
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