yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
