it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Can I color on your dick again?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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