Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
