The best revenge is premature balding
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
