If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
