It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
