i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize