Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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