You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
