i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
