in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize