your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
