Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
