Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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