Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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