I need help removing her.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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