quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
pray to the hookup gods
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize