Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
