I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
