I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
