i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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