The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
