32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
