suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
