a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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