So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
