even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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