Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
